To My Baby Z, As You Turn A Year Old

Dear Zakariya,

Can you believe you are one whole year old today? I can’t. It feels like just yesterday your abbu and I brought you home from the hospital; absolutely clueless about this journey we embarked on as new parents.

Do you remember our car ride home from the hospital? Your abbu drove, as I sat in the back with you for the first time. I remember being overwhelmed and nervous, and not sure what to do with your little, 6 lb 2 oz self. I kept looking to see if you were comfortable in the carseat, which seemed way too big for you at the time. I can’t believe we’re already looking to get a bigger one for you!

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The first 3 months of your life were the hardest. It was a huge adjustment period for your abbu and I. We went from having a schedule, and a perfect work-home balance to both being stay at home parents, and with no schedule what so ever. I am certain you were colicky, because you cried non-stop for hours at night. We took turns being with you. While your abbu slept from 8 pm to 2 am, I stayed up with you. And then he took over, and I slept from 2 am to 9 am.

As hard as those days were, I will never forget the way it felt to hold you against my chest. Feeling you breath on me, taking in your sweet baby smell, and staring at your long eyelashes. I loved every single thing about you Baby Z – and I often just stared at you wondering how magnificent Allah’s creation is, subhanAllah. I went from feeling you inside of me, to finally holding you in my arms! What a miracle called life Allah has gifted us.

 

 

The moment you turned 4 months old, you were a completely different person. You went from crying for hours to being one of the happiest and friendliest babies I have ever seen, mashaAllah. Your personality slowly started shining through and I could not handle it! My heart was full to the brim, and the love was spilling out. Ask you abbu, almost every morning I would ask him,  “Nahyan, eita ki shotti amader baby? Eita amader baby!” SubhanAllah, the way a mother feels for her baby is incomparable to anything else in this world.

 

I’ve learned so much about you this past year – how much you enjoy bath time, your favourite book being “Brown Bear Brown Bear”, your favourite toy is your blue car, your favourite rhyme is “twinkle twinkle little star”, your favourite fruit is Banana, and you’re definitely mommy’s boy! 😛

You are also super observant and you notice everything going on around you, mashaAllah. Most people don’t believe you’re doing so much already and you just turned a year old! My smarty pants! You are also so caring. When mommy is sad, you run to me and shower me with your hugs and wet kisses. And I will never forget the other day, when I was having a heated conversation with the food delivery man because he lied about my order time and you ran from the other room, pushed me aside and started yelling at him too! Oops, I need to be careful around you now don’t I 😛

 

To watch your little self grow this year has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I often lay next to you when you’re sleeping and just stare at you. MashaAllah, my baby. As much as I love our times together baby Z, one of the best parts about being your mom is watching you make the people I love the happiest I’ve ever seen them. You have lit up the lives of not just us, but all our families as well.

 

This year went by so fast, Zakariya. I know it was your first one here, but let me tell you that this was also my first year being a mom, and one I will cherish forever. Before more time passes us by, let me hold you a little bit longer, Baby Z. Soon enough your little hands won’t fit into mine anymore. And let me nap beside you, because soon enough you will get busy with your friends and school. Let me touch your sleepy face, because soon enough you won’t wake up in the middle of the night looking for me… I love you, Zakariya. And I will always love you.

 

-Your ammu

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